My Mom Said I Should Start a Blog

Yep. My mom said I should start a blog. That’s what she said. Right after she asked, for the 30^th time, “What is that internet thing again? Do we have the internet?” And I tried to explain it to her, like for the 30^th time, that, yeah, we do have the internet.

Then she said that some lady she works with at the hospital has a daughter with a blog. So I spent about 20 minutes trying to explain what a blog is. Then she said, “You should start a blog,” and went on to talk about what a great writer I am—all because in the 4^th grade I won this writing contest thing. She always acts like I threw my whole life away, just because I didn’t pursue a Pulitzer after my famous 4^th grade essay, “How Chipmunks and Squirrels Are Different.” Yea. I bet Popular Science would be all over that.

So, I figure, at least if I am down here in the basement and making tapping noises on the computer, maybe she won’t nag me about getting a job anymore. If she asks about blogging or the internet again, I can tell her, yes, I’m blogging, and I’ll make it sound like it’s work, and she’ll probably just assume I’m getting paid.

Even better, I am gonna get other people to write blogs, and then I can tell her that I am a “Blog Editor.” That sounds pretty damn impressive, if I do say so myself.

So stay tuned for entries into this, my new blog. I figure it will be years before my mother even comes close to figuring out the internet and can figure out how to read this crap—as long as I make computery noises, she’ll never be the wiser, and I’ll be living rent- and nag-free…..